Well of course systems are cheaper! Read on . . .
by Ron Enderland
The average computer user, I would like to think, is just a bit more savvy than those who fear or loathe the thinking machines. Of course, as a computer user myself, I admit a prejudiced point of view in this regard.
Let's face it, though. If Einstein were alive today, we can picture him using his Pentium Pro as the missing tool he needed to finally form that pesky Unified Field Theory (Who am I kidding? He'd be spending eighteen hours a day trying to get into the fourth Obsidian disk).
The point of all this is that those who are sharp enough to figure out how to keep Windows 95 running for more than fifteen minutes ought to be able to recognize a scam when they see it.
Computer system prices are dropping like towels from around nubile young bodies in a Jamie Lee Curtis horror movie. This is good news for all of us, right? Well, it would be, if that were the whole story.
As someone who spends approximately 113% of his gross income on computer parts, I get lots of catalogs in the mail. A recent offering, from a nationally known outfit, had these systems for sale:
Cheap, huh? I mean, that's a real IBM system for 1300 bucks! Most of these computers have all the usual add-ins: at least 16 MEG's of RAM, 8X or faster CD-ROM, hot graphics, 33.6 modems, hard drives sized in the gigs. Many of them have sound cards and speakers, too.
So, you excitedly call VISA and cajole them into raising your limit to six figures, call the 800 number, wait on hold for 3.6 hours on average, hear every Kenny G song ever recorded, order your Hot System, and listen for the familiar squealing brakes of the UPS man.
The guy at work who always hated computers has finally given in and agreed to purchase yours for 500 bucks. He'll never notice that math problem on that Pentium 75 chip. He shows up at 3:00 with a pocketful of money and you box everything up for him. You'll have to go over to his house at least five times to help him get going, but so what! You're about to experience MMX!
Three days later, UPS finally shows. You haven't checked your email in 72 hours! Your mouth is watering as the brown-clad gentleman lugs in the box. As it sits in your living room, you stare wonderingly at its mass. "How did they get that whole system in that little container?"
As you extract components from the quagmire of Styrofoam packing, your expectation is at an all-time high. Finally, everything is sitting out. Hey! Where's the monitor?
You call the mail-order house and find yourself back in the world of lite-rock music as you sit on hold. While you impatiently listen to yet another Kenny G annoyance, your eyes pore over the catalog. You find the well-worn page that pictures your system. Yep, there's the monitor, a beauty! Black, custom designed to match the sensuous curves of the mini-tower case, and hold it!.
There, in approximately #2 typesize, are the words "Monitor sold separately."
Computer users, unite! Are we going to let retailers get away with this chicanery? Sure, the first Sinclairs and Commodores didn't come with monitors. You plugged them into your TV. You also had to write your own programs! We've advanced beyond that, haven't we? Why should we have to figure the monitor as an expensive add-in to the dream systems we're purchasing by the thousands?
In the meantime, if anyone happens to know one of these mail-order computer catalog people who offer systems with no way to actually view the contents of the hard disk, why not offer to sell them something ridiculously cheap? Say, a 1993 Corvette for 2000 bucks? After they pay you up front (like they force us to do), hand them an ash tray and say "Drive safely." When they express outrage, tell them "Sorry, body sold separately."
