I am 32 years old and I had an abortion when I was 18. I have deeply regretted that decision. But through post-abortion counseling, I have realized that God has forgiven me and that He will use my experience to help other hurting people, I gave my son the name Joshua which means God is my salvation. He surely is. God used this little boy to bring me back to Him. I look forward to the day I will hold my Joshua in my arms and we ill worship our Lord together. Below is a poem I wrote in memory of Joshua.

This poem is to my child
Who resides with my savior
My sin sent him far away
My love for him had wavered.

Because of the way you were conceived
Satan's lies were believed
He told me that you were not real
And that it really wouldn't kill

Your mommy took the easy way out
Her love for you was in great doubt
She ended your life in a matter of hours
She gave in to the devil's powers.

Your mommy knows you didn't want to go
Because you fought with all your might
But God said I have a plan for you
Just step into the light.

Into His arms you went that day
Your mommy was left alone
How she wishes you could have stayed
But heaven is now your home.

Through years of shame your mommy lived
Always thinking of you
Her heart was broken and torn apart
She didn't know what to do.
She tried to do everything right

To make up for her mistake
She walked away from God's true light
Her eternal soul was at stake.
She began to pretend she was okay

That she would be alright
But she needed to find a better way
To bring the truth to light.
Then God used you once again

To bring your mommy home
She missed you more that ever
She couldn't handle it alone.
She finally cried out to the Lord

He heard her cry out why
Did he allow you to suffer
And because of her to die.
Then God sent someone into her life

To show her how to live
To take away the days of strife
And true love to her to give.
When your mommy finally stopped to hear

What God was trying to say
In heaven you stood and gave a cheer
When on her knees she prayed.
God listened to your Mommy's prayer

As you sat upon His knee
He told you that he really cared
And that He'd set her free
She found that God had loved her

Through all that she'd been through
And that He would forgive her
For what she'd done to you.
His mercy came upon her

As she knelt before the throne
And all the pain of all the years
Suddenly was gone.
Then suddenly she remembered you

And it was as if she heard you say
Mommy I forgive you
I'm glad you stopped to pray.
She still thinks of you her little one

And looks up towards the throne
Where one day you and she can pray
And with the Lord be one.

If you read this and it means something to you please E-Mail me at amandatedder@hotmail.com. I would love to hear from you.