My name is Chris. I was 15 years old when I aborted my baby at 18 weeks and 7 days. I am seventeen years old now, and, as I recall all of the right reasons to abort, I always come up with a different view than before.

I was 15, I grew up in a church home, went to a Christian school for 11 years. I knew the Bible, knew, or at least thought I knew, God. I was in love with the man of my dreams, or so I thought. He was 25, already had one child, and I later came to find out, he helped abort one, too. When I came up pregnant, his reaction had changed from when we had talked about if I was to get pregnant. Instead of, it would be ok, it was "I'll pay for the abortion, but not the child to live."

My mother also pushed me to have it, because of school. I would have been expelled for getting pregnant, which would have hurt me so much at the time. I was looking out for my future, or so I thought. So, I quickly made up my mind to throw my feelings out the door, and open myself up to some murderer.

As I woke up during the proceedure crying and yelling, to keep my baby, I came upon the first rush of horror, as to what it was to kill a child. Needless to say, my attempts at staying at the school I was in failed. After the abortion I threw myself into the comforts of drugs and alchohol, and, eventually, more sex. I dropped out of the high school that I had sacrificed to stay in, and ended up losing everything.

I had never felt so much pain as when I killed my baby. I would see a child and break into tears. I have found God now though, I found the forgiving and kind Father, who I know has forgiven me for my shortcoming, but the regret will always be here.

I will always have the emptiness that I now know so well...too well... I have one and only one comfort in this, when I go to be with my Father, and He gives me the keys to my Mansion, the first room I will go into will be my baby's room. I will look in and pick him up, with tears rolling down my eyes, and Jesus holding me, I will see my baby, and then I will forgive myself.

Please if you read this and you want a abortion, don't think you can handle it - you can't! You will hurt, and you will cry. I wanted to kill myself so many times... No matter what you do, your child will love you, show him you love him by letting him live.