I'm a registered nurse and had been married 2 years before I had a spontaneous miscarriage of a child we desperately wanted. The next year in November, we became pregnant again. We were ready, willing and waiting. I had an Alfa -feta-Protien screening done to detect any abnormalities at the 16th week. I remember the day as if it were yesterday. The doctor called just before supper and told me that the screening was positive, but because it was a screening there were a lot of false positives. I was a wreck, my husband the optimist was not. I had a follow-up sonogram. It revealed that the baby had spinabifida. I was alone, out of town and had a long ride home. I cried like I never cried before. I knew what I was expected to do. Was it the right choice? I had worked with adults with spinabifida in home health situations. Would I deliberately bring a child into this cruel world to suffer?

Some people think that abortion is an easy answer. It isn't. I feel that even though God does forgive and forget that the emotional aspects we endure are God's way of making sure we don't forget our crimes against humanity and to teach others God's way though example.

We went to Pittsburgh. Had the amniocentesis. Had the abortion. We held our baby girl and cried. Nobody knows except our parents, sisters, the minister and the pediatrician. I relive all the procedures, the emotions, the sadness almost daily. I have 2 photos, a baptism folder, and an angelic monument in my garden. I wouldn't do it again for anything.

It's been a while now (November 14, 1991) and yet it will haunt me all the days of my life.

We have two girls. They bring us a lot of joy. With their births I thought I could bring our first daughter back again, but it's not so. They are their own people. Four months after our last child my husband had a vasectomy. I was relieved that hopefully we are done having children. But oh what I wouldn't give for one more chance to bring back Baby Grace.

Once I saw a sign in a window. STOP ALL ABORTION. That says it all. Nothing is so precious as the gift of life and nothing comes more from God than the gift of a child.