It was the latter part of my junior year in high school, and I had been seeing my boyfriend for nearly a year. I knew that this was the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I'll call him Brian. At first, my parents adored him but as things grew more serious between us, they started to disapprove of our relationship. In April of that year, I found out that I was pregnant. Although it was not the way that Brian and I wanted it to happen, (we both wanted to get through college first), we were excited -- and scared about what our parents would say. My mother had me when she was 17, and was in an abusive relationship with my biological father. I knew that she would be devastated. We didn't tell them. My step-dad was going through my backpack about a month later and found a letter from Brian. Needless to say, he was crushed. He made Brian and his parents come out to our house to have a discussion about the situation.

Brian and I both wanted to keep the baby. My parents tried to make me feel guilty, as though I didn't feel guilty enough already, by saying that I was already showing, my friends wouldn't want anything to do with me, my senior year would be ruined, and the best I would ever do as far as a job would be the local grocery store I was working at the time, or fast food. They had to have total control over the situation, which was typical of them. Brian's parents were hurt, but were supportive whatever WE were going to decide to do. My aunt, who had been through the very same thing when she was my age - and she had aborted her pregnancy, stepped in. She talked to Brian while I was at work and the two of them were waiting for me at my house when I got home. My parents were gone. My parents had talked to Brian before they left about the "benefits" of having an abortion. Brian and I had talked about it before, and although the thought of it killed us, we thought maybe that it was the best decision. I vowed that I would never do that to my baby. Even though I was only about 8 weeks along, I just knew I was going to have a little girl. We named her Brianne Renee'. My aunt, Brian and I sat down and were talking and I told my aunt that we had considered the option of abortion. As soon as my parents heard about that, It was like my mother slammed into high gear. I went to school the next day and she called me AT SCHOOL to give me the number to call to set up the abortion. She told me that she tried to set it up for me, but the people at the clinic wouldn't let her.

On Friday, my parents, my aunt, Brian and I loaded into the car and headed to the clinic which was about 75 miles away. That was one long car ride. I went into the counselor, lied to her and told her I was perfectly comfortable with my decision, and before I had time to think with a clear mind, it was all over. I cried the entire time. All can remember was a nurse was holding my hand telling me how "It will be okay" and the pain both emotionally and physically that I was going through. I was then escorted into a recovery room, where I could sit to clear my mind before I had to make that long car trip back home. I was just calming down a bit and in walks, above all people, my Mother. The nurse that brought her in said that normally they don't let anyone except patients in the recovery room but my mom just looked so scared that she brought her back . My mom asked me if I was ok, I once again lied and said yes, but I now know that what I should have told her was what I really felt and told her to get out of my face . We headed for home, and it was amazing. It was like we had just been to the circus or something. Everyone except for Brian and I was acting like nothing happened. We stopped to get something to eat, everything was forgotten. But not for Brian and I...

About a year later, Brian and I were publicly engaged, but my parents said that they didn't want to know anything about Brian, what we did, where we went or anything else, so I didn't tell them. Someone then told my mother at her office and they went nuts. I got home that evening and my dad said something like as long as I'm living under his roof I have to tell him everything that goes on in my life. I told him that the only time he ever cares what goes on between Brian and I is when something is going on, and that he can't just care about my feelings when it is convenient for him . I left their house that night without even a toothbrush. Brian came and got me, and I have lived with him ever since. My parents did not come to my graduation, they forbid anyone in my family to go. They didn't come to our wedding this past year either. I'm barely on speaking terms with them. Brian and I think of Brianne often and pray that someday we'll be forgiven, and blessed with another opportunity to have a baby - only this time no one else will have ANY say-so on how to raise it.

There is a moral to my story.. I knew that Brian and I would stick together no matter what happened with our baby, But I knew my parents would not support me if we had Brianne. We gave up our child to please someone else. So now I have a truly wonderful husband, but no baby, AND no support from my parents. I lost it all on the day of my abortion. Except for the man whom my parents said would leave me when I needed him most. It's funny that they said that of him and then bailed out themselves.

NOBODY-PARENTS, BOYFRIEND, WHOMEVER ARE WORTH THE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL THAT BRIAN AND I HAVE ENDURED. IF YOU DECIDE TO HAVE An ABORTION, MAKE SURE IT IS YOUR OWN DECISION. IT'S A HARD ENOUGH EMOTIONAL TRAUMA TO GO THROUGH ANYWAY WITHOUT THE THOUGHT THAT YOU DID IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE.