It has been about 23 years since my abortion. I got into a relationship with a fellow that said he truly loved me but when I found myself pregnant he acted like I didn't exist. Heartbroken, I went to stay with my parents. My dad insisted that I get an abortion because he said that I didn't want to live with this mistake for the rest of my life. I didn't want to disappoint my dad. I knew I didn't want to get the abortion but I didn't know how to oppose my dad.

The day came.....another family member took me to the clinic as I didn't drive. I can remember the feeling of just wanting to run away. They assured me that it was just tissue and that the procedure was painless and brief. I was 11 and a half weeks, just the legal limit for the clinic. Finally the time came.....I can see it as if it were yesturday. The doctor came in, he was dressed all in green from head to toe. He had a helper with him. The procedure seemed to take forever and it wasn't painless as they had promised. It hurt my body and ripped my heart out.... After the loud machine was silent and all was done I felt empty and numb. I didn't feel for weeks after that and then when I started feeling again it was anger at ALL who were involved, and deep sadness and loss for my precious little baby. I was sitting in church a few years later when it hit me that I was a murderer...I took it to Jesus and I know I have been forgiven, He knows where I was spiritually and the circumstanses. I have greived for years over the abortion..even this letter took me right into the terrible pain again. You would think that I would be all cried out. I'm 43 now and very much po-life and try to share my experience with anyone who's thinking about getting an abortion....Let the babies live!!!

Teresa