8 Tips to Relieve Your Video Game Wars

One of the very first blog posts I ever wrote was called “Why the DS is the Bane of my Existence” and it was true at the time. We owned 2 DS units between 5 kids and it was absolutely hellacious.

The DS units actually disappeared from the house for about 6 months. No one played. No one even knew where they went. It was bliss (for me).

How do we get into these situations as parents? Do we have bad kids? Should we ban all video devices and game players from the home? Or should we learn how to parent through this challenge and expect some cooperation from our kids too?

Sharon Silver, parenting expert, author, and creator of Proactive Parenting gives 8 fantastic tips for families on how to make the video game phenomenon a success in your house.  She successfully parented two video game-loving children who are now both in the technology field.

Check the Ratings

Make sure the content is appropriate to your child. There are ratings from the Electronic Software Rating Board (ESRB) on the box. Silver notes if you think it might be violent, it probably is. Avoid that.

Weave in a Little Learning

Not all of their games need to be “mindless” – Silver suggests rotating between the “fun” games and learning games, possibly a day for each. If your children resist, she suggests letting them know maybe they shouldn’t play either kind of games until they understand how to act more mature about their choices.

3 Cardinal Rules

Of course, there will be squabbles; they’re kids. If these tussles become a nightmare for you, try these three rules:

If your child is getting frustrated: make them take a break

If your child won’t share:  use a timer to help make sure each gets a fair turn (I used this one this morning – learned how to use the “timer” function on my phone too!)

If your child continues to negotiate for more time: mandate a 24-hour break. This will train them to listen when you say play time is over.

Tradeoffs and Time Limits

Kids earn sitting/sedentary time by moving for 30 minutes to earn 10 minutes of game time.  Also, give them options of games where you must move to participate (like the Wii).

Save Their Games

Silver points out that most games are designed to continue forever (it seems). So, if a child understands that he can save the game and come back later or the next day, it should make him more willing to walk away, understanding he won’t lose the progress he’s attained.

Schedule Non-Electronic Days

As a teaching tool of time management, Silver offers the idea of giving your children specific days that are electronic days and are non-electronic days. This way, they can decide how to divide up their time. If they fail, they lose the privilege of managing themselves the next week.

Make Them Earn It

Like allowance, you can use game time to reward your children for chores or special things they have done. Once they complete their chores, they get to play.

Find Their “Aggression-Point”

Silver recommends giving your child 5 minutes of game time, then 25 minutes of playtime outside or elsewhere. As he or she shows they can do that, and then give them longer time periods in 5 minute-increments. Once your child starts to show frustration with the video, you know they’ve hit their aggression point and it’s time to dial it back.

So, try these ideas and see how it goes. I’ve already used a couple of these rules and now, instead of a day of screaming and fighting, my children are playing a pretend game far away from the game player – thank goodness!

Please read more about Silver and her wonderful parenting techniques at www.proactiveparenting.net.

Marijo Tinlin is the Editor in Chief of Family First, one of the oldest family-oriented websites on the internet. She is also the author of the new book about patriotism and teaching our children to love this country called “How to Raise an American Patriot, Making it Okay for Our Kids to Be Proud to Be American.”  It features 13 interviews with patriotic Americans including Ed Meese, Erick Erickson and Jackie Gingrich Cushman. It’s available at www.raisinganamericanpatriot.com.