Are You A Happy Mom? 10 Tips to Get You There

With all the discussions lately about Tiger Moms and Millennial Moms, being your kid’s the best friend or keeping them at a distance, the real question, according to Dr. Meg Meeker, M.D., is are you happy?

In her new book, “The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers, Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity” (Ballentine Books, March 8, 2011, IBSN 9780345518064), Meeker, a 25-year veteran pediatrician and physician, makes the point that the key is really held by the mother’s happiness in how she parents.

“The truth is, much of our negativity and lack of pleasure stems from the fact that we’re putting most of our energy into places which make us even more miserable,” writes Meeker.

“We have fallen into the trap of feeling that we must try to be ‘perfect’ in all the dimensions of our lives. We try to raise perfect kids, act like perfect mothers, perform perfectly at our careers, have beautiful figures and feel relaxed when we get home at night.”

A mother of four, Meeker (www.megmeekermd.com) offers a tool kit to the 10 habits she believes are the key to a mom’s success.

Briefly they are as follows. To read more about them in depth, please check out her book for much deeper detail and application.

Find alone time – search your soul to find the quiet space within you. Even the busiest moms can find a few minutes alone even if that means getting up a few minutes earlier.

Live your real value and accept it – when you figure out you can’t be everything to everyone, it will make your life much easier.

Cultivate your friendships with women – when we don’t have strong friendships, our lives can feel hollow.

Decide what place you want money to have in your life – while it seems like we always must pursue more, more, more, that’s not always the right answer. Money creates a lot of stress for many people and it’s not always because we think we need more. Often it is because we need to learn what place it has in our lives.

Stop sizing yourself up to other mothers – If you are always comparing yourself or your kids to others, it will cause you endless stress and zero fulfillment in your own accomplishments. When you can let that go, it frees you up to really enjoy your life and your kids.

Work on overcoming fear – many of the stresses moms feel are due to deep-seated fears we have. Meeker’s book helps moms identify and overcome these fears to parent with more confidence.

Live with hope and banish negativity – so many moms get overwhelmed by negativity that they can’t enjoy the joy of being a mom. By living with hope, it helps us deal with today’s challenging economic climate.

Explore and develop your spiritual beliefs – by understanding your feelings about God and faith, you have something to draw from in your life.

Life feels better with love – when we spend so much energy on material things and superficial measurements, we can overlook the fundamental human need to love and be loved.

Simplify – by taking time to truly untangle the complications of our lives, we leave more time for our family and our real lives. Meeker’s book helps you get comfortable with giving things up to make room for life.

Meeker’s book helps moms feel less frazzled, fatigued and crazy and start building their lives in a healthy, happy mom.

“This book is not about how to be a better mother. There are plenty of books on that. My goal is th help you become a happier one,” says Meeker. Her website is www.megmeekermd.com for more information about this book and much more.