What’s the Line between Promoting and Exploiting Your Child?

What went through your head when you heard about the “Balloon Boy”?

Did you watch the “David After the Dentist” video with the kid wondering aloud if he was experiencing real life? What did you think?

David’s dad, David Devore, sells merchandise (even hospital scrubs) and has trademarked the term “Is this Real Life?”™

He travels the country giving speeches and the younger David comes with him, according to Kelli Burns, PhD, Assistant Professor at the University of South Florida and author of “Celeb 2.0 – How Social Media Foster Our Fascination with Popular Culture” (Praeger, 2009, ISBN 978-0-313-35688-9).

They also contribute proceeds to Operation Smile, a charity organization and promote the Firefly brand toothbrush, according to their website.

Burns says good things can come from the new paradigm of fame from social media, such as Facebook and YouTube.

Pop sensation Justin Beiber was discovered from an on-line video his mother posted. The popular comedy act Smosh (Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox, two hooded teens lip synching songs) found fame from YouTube.

The character Fred, a hyper kid, has a successful following after becoming a YouTube sensation which has led to appearances on Disney’s “iCarly.” If you google the word “fred,” his channel on YouTube is at the top of the search.

In her book Burns writes, “The Internet democratizes the entertainment industry and lessens the dominance of Hollywood in determining who can and cannot become a star.”

Now, instead of having to live in Los Angeles or New York to have a shot at fame, you can find fame on-line from anywhere in the country or the world.

Burns sites many, many examples of kids who did something funny, or sang, or danced and made it big – check YouTube for any of these folks: Matt Harding (www.wherethehellismatt.com), funtwo (two kids playing classical music on electric guitars), Esmée Denters and Marié Digby. By the way, at the time of this writing, Harding is somewhere in Costa Rica, “dancing badly,” according to his website.

All of these talented young folks have become YouTube sensations and have gone on to some sort of national notoriety such as the talk show circuit, national television and in some cases, recording contracts and product sponsorships.

The allure, according to Burns, is the accessibility. Anyone can do it. We’re trained now too, through social media, to think others want to know about our lives and our kids’ lives. Facebook postings, tweets, LinkedIn updates and much more feed our cultural hunger for some recognition.

But fame isn’t always what’s it’s cracked up to be.

Burns writes about the case of Ghyslain Raza, a high schooler who’s 2002 video of his skills swinging a golf ball retriever like Star Wars character Darth Maul’s lightsaber became a sweeping sensation.

The video was posted by his classmates, without his consent, and within one month, was being written about in The New York Times. It spread like wildfire but Raza filed a lawsuit for harassment and distribution without consent.

Raza didn’t want his image out there. Some parents post things that reflect badly on themselves or their kids. In the case of David, many parents were appalled that, instead of taking care of his child when he was scared and needed him, his dad was videotaping, according to Burns.

Now they’ve parlayed that into an enterprise for themselves.

Not every story ends this way and that can be damaging for our kids, according to Burns. She says 31 percent of kids believe they will someday be famous. It’s highly desirable.

When we post things online and they don’t take off, kids can feel rejected or like they’ve failed, she says. Something to keep in mind: It’s like hitting it big in Hollywood . There are millions of videos out there. The chances of having your child’s video plucked out of obscurity are slim. You need to manage their expectations.

Sometimes the things that are posted can reflect badly on you or your children. Burns says it has become much more common for both colleges and employers to search the Internet regarding the on-line reputation of their candidates.

Burns asks: Your child’s bratty (or stupid) behavior might have been funny or cute but does it hurt him or her in the long run? (By the way, is there anything out there about you you’re not proud of?)

If you or your child has something out there that is undesirable, there’s almost no way to assure it’s completely removed. You can seek to have videos taken down from YouTube and content removed from Facebook but Burns points out, if anyone downloaded the materials before they were removed, they live in perpetuity.

If someone has posted something false or defamatory about you, it does violate the Facebook user agreement, Burns says, so you have good standing for getting this removed but again, the materials may already reside in other places, to be posted again.

The only way to assure this negative content is difficult to find is to create a large quantity of positive content that’s current. This will be rewarded by the search engines since the content is fresh.

So caution and managed expectations are going to serve you and your children if you choose to try for some kind of fame and fortune. Just don’t lie and tell authorities you’ve accidently launched your kid in a giant helium balloon (or some other crazy stunt) to get attention, because you may end up sitting in jail, like Richard Heene, with a permanently damaged reputation.