50 Ways to Leave Your Lover… According to AI
You may be old enough to remember Paul Simon’s hit song from the seventies, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”. You can just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. No need to be coy, Roy. Etc, etc.
But what happens when you ask AI how to leave your lover in 2023? Here are the 50 ways it came up with.
- Honestly inform them that it’s over.
- You should write them a letter detailing the reasons behind the breakup.
- Have a heart-to-heart and break up with them face to face.
- If you can’t meet in person, do it over the phone.
- If you want to talk to someone face to face, you should try using a video chat service like Zoom.
- Just send them a text message to tell them you’re breaking up with them.
- Just vanish out of their lives, or “ghost” them.
- Share the news that you must end the friendship because of your upcoming relocation.
- You might explain that you’re going through a tough time personally and emotionally, and that a relationship is not possible at this time.
- Just say, “it’s not you, it’s me,” and go on.
- Put it down to time constraints imposed by your demanding work schedule.
- Let’s pretend that you’ve both matured and settled on distinct paths in life.
- Avoid a potential heartbreak by letting them know you’re not interested in a long-term commitment.
- Just say you’re not ready for a meaningful relationship at this time in your life.
- Make up an excuse why you’re not interested in them anymore.
- Drop the news that you’ve found a new partner.
- If your long-distance relationship is having problems, you may always say that it’s because of the separation.
- Just say you’re not ready for a serious relationship.
- Justify your desire for isolation by claiming that you’re trying to figure things out.
- Just say that your loved ones don’t support your decision to be together.
- Just say you can’t be bothered emotionally.
- Put your dissatisfaction with the relationship out there.
- Inform them that your goals in life are different from theirs.
- Make up a story about how you just aren’t compatible with them.
- Let’s pretend you’re in a committed relationship but realize you need to focus on yourself.
- Make up the story that you’re not yet prepared for a committed relationship.
- Put it out there that you two just don’t belong together anymore.
- You might mention the importance of putting your career first.
- Just explain you’re still not over your ex and move on.
- Let them know that you need to take a break from the relationship.
- Make up a story about how you’re too preoccupied right now to deal with it.
- Admit that your feelings for them have changed.
- Communicate your discontent with the relationship’s current trajectory.
- Just say you’re not looking for something serious and move on.
- Make up an excuse that you need some time to yourself to think things over.
- You should let them know that their treatment of you is upsetting you.
- You can say you’re not ready for a relationship emotionally.
- Make up an excuse why you’re not interested in them anymore.
- Explain to them how important it is that you take care of your emotional well-being.
- Say you’re not ready for a relationship since you’re not financially stable.
- You might simply state that you are not looking for a long-term commitment from a partner.
- You should let them know that you’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re not a good match.
- Justify your lack of participation by claiming that you have to give your whole attention to your studies.
- Let’s pretend you absolutely have to stop dating for a while.
- Just let them know that you’ve moved on and are done with the past.
- Say you’re still hurting from a prior relationship.
- Maintain that you have to make spiritual development a priority.
- You need to let them know that you are not yet ready to have a family.
- Justify your decision by saying you can’t devote fully to the relationship.
- Try expressing that you’re losing interest.
Would you trust AI to break up your relationship for you?
