Do You Have an ADHD Marriage? 7 Signs You Might

(MIDDLETOWN, CT)- July 28, 2010- If your spouse perpetually forgets to pay the bills, loses focus when you’re speaking or neglects household chores, there may be a legitimate explanation: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  Your other half’s behavior may have previously been considered lazy, inattentive or forgetful.  However, it may be the result of a legitimate medical condition.  Many children with ADHD fail to get diagnosed and treated properly which often means that the condition carries over into adulthood, creeping undetected into marriages.

Research suggests that adults with ADHD are twice as likely to get divorced.  A number of studies have also found high levels of distress in 60 percent of marriages where one spouse had the disorder and had gone untreated.

“If one spouse is unaware that the other has ADHD, it is all-too-common to attribute their actions to selfishness or a lack of caring” said Clinical Psychologist Dr. Robert Reynolds.  “Because this condition is so often overlooked in adults, divorce, unfortunately, is a frequent side effect.”

ADHD-affected couples often show up in a therapist’s office for marital trouble. Commonly, the spouse without ADHD ends up having to shoulder the lion’s share of the family responsibilities.  “I need a partner but I often feel I feel like I’m raising another child”, is a common refrain often voiced in marriage counseling.

Even well-meaning therapists can miss the underlying condition if they have not had training or experience working with adults with ADHD which is why marital therapy is often unsuccessful with such couples.  “Successful marital therapy begins with the proper diagnosis.  Then, with the help of the therapist, a path out of the chaos can be created” according to Dr. Reynolds.

Dr. Reynolds holds seminars on the topic of adult ADHD and its multiple impacts upon marriage.  He offers these warning signs that may be an indication your spouse suffers from ADHD:

• Edginess; short temper
• World Class Procrastinator; multiple unfinished projects
• Into everything but rarely finishes anything
• Easily distracted
• Poorly organized
• Forgetful; loses things
• Chronically late

“Such a high percentage of marriages end in divorce in this country.  However, closer scrutiny regarding the underlying reasons leading to divorce may ultimately reveal an underlying case of ADHD in one of the spouses,”said Dr. Reynolds.  “The good news is that ADHD is a very treatable condition.  The bad news is that couples have a tendency to put off dealing with their problems until their marriage is in a state of crisis.  The path to healing begins when both partners recognize that the problems are not going away and agree that treatment is necessary in order to preserve their marriage.  And if children are involved, treatment becomes especially imperative.”

In addition to marital intervention for ADHD-affected couples, Dr. Reynolds advocates the use of a technique known as Neurofeedback therapy.  Neurofeedback therapy is a powerful method for teaching individuals how to regulate their brainwave activity through the use of game-like displays on a computer monitor.  It has proven to be an effective and permanent solution for treating a variety of conditions like ADHD when individuals are not interested in using medications.

“People don’t need to pop a pill to get better.  I’ve seen countless cases in which counseling in conjunction with Neurofeedback therapy has been a powerful treatment combination and an effective alternative to medication.”

Dr. Reynolds’ clinic has become a sought after resource in helping students, families, schools and individuals cope with attention, learning and behavior challenges across the lifespan.  For more information, visit www.ct-ed.com or call 860.343.0227.